1 Thessalonians 4:9-12
~19 min read
💭 Consider this: Have you ever set limits on your love, thinking, “I’ve done enough”? If loving fellow believers does not come naturally to you, what might that reveal about your spiritual condition? How can you grow in loving "more and more" as Paul exhorts?
TRANSCRIPT
Our text is taken from 1 Thessalonians 4:9-12. Allow me to read for you: "But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more; And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing." The Lord bless the reading of His holy and sacred Word.
Our Lord Jesus, while He was ministering on this earth, taught His disciples that the world would know that they are Christians. Jesus said in John 13:35: "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." He did not say that the world would know that we are His disciples by our correct doctrines. He did not say that the world would know that we are Christians by our preaching. This does not mean that teaching and preaching are not important — they are extremely important. But He was emphasising that love is a powerful testimony to the reality of our Christian faith.
The Bible has written much about love. The Apostle Paul spent an entire chapter speaking about this topic in 1 Corinthians 13. Jesus taught His disciples to love one another, and He set the ultimate example by dying on the cross of Calvary. The early Christians followed Him. They obeyed His commandment, and Christianity spread rapidly throughout the Roman world because of this love. Sadly, today the Church is not known for her love. We are known for our disagreements, divisions, quarrels, fights, and so forth.
If we want to live our lives to please God, we must repent and turn to Him. We must love the Lord thy God with all our hearts, with all our souls, and with all our minds, and to love our neighbours as ourselves. The title of our message is ‘The Importance of Brotherly Love’.
I. It Is A Love That Is Natural
The first thing we want to learn about brotherly love is that it is natural. Verse 9 says: "But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another." In a sense, Paul was saying, ‘I do not need to write to you about this matter of loving one another because ye are taught of God to love one another.’ He was not speaking of being taught by the Holy Scriptures. He was referring to something they had received by virtue of their relationship with the Almighty God.
Before our conversions, you and I were children of darkness. But when we were saved, we became the children of God. As Christians, we have been taught — by virtue of our relationship with God, by virtue of our new birth, by virtue of our new nature, by virtue of the indwelling Holy Spirit in us — that we all belong to the family of God, which consists of other believers as well. So it is a natural love. No one has to teach Christians to love other Christians. It is the most natural thing.
The phrase “brotherly love”, from which we get the English word ‘Philadelphia’, was originally used to refer to the natural affections between blood relations. It is family love. It is the kind of love we have for our physical, biological brothers. When it was used in the New Testament, it was used to refer to brothers and sisters in Christ — our spiritual brethren. We understand this natural love very clearly in the physical realm.
Allow me to give you an illustration. When our children were born to us—when our baby first came into this world—we had never seen the baby before, we had never communicated with the baby before, yet the first time we held the baby in our hands, we loved that little baby. How was that possible? Because that baby is our flesh and blood. There is this natural affection between the parent and the child. When parents do not love their children, we know something is terribly wrong. When children abuse their parents, we immediately know that something is horrendously wrong. We tell our children, ‘You must love your brother. You must love your sister.’ When our children tell us, ‘Daddy, Mummy, I love my little brother,’ we will not say to them, ‘I didn't know that you can do that,’ because it is natural. No one has to write a letter to teach us to love our parents, our children, or our siblings because those are natural affections.
Likewise, in the spiritual realm, no one has to teach us that we can love our brothers and sisters in Christ. If you are born of God and if I am born of God, we would naturally love one another. In fact, it is so natural for Christians to love Christians that when someone claims to be a believer and yet does not love other Christians, it proves that he may not be a true believer in the first place.
1 John 3:14 says, "We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death." So if you do not love your brother and sister in Christ, what is your condition? You are abiding in death. Verse 15-16 says: "Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him. Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren". What kind of love is this between Christians? It is the kind of love where we are willing to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters in Christ.
"But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?" (1 John 3:17) In other words, a love for fellow Christians is so natural that we are sensitive to their needs. It is unthinkable. It is impossible to actually have eternal life, to have God's love abiding in us, and yet not love one another in Jesus Christ. No one needs to teach us this love because the Holy Spirit, who indwells in us, has shed abroad the love of God in our hearts so that you and I naturally love our brothers and sisters in Christ.
II. It Is A Love That Needs To Be Encouraged
Secondly, it is a love that needs to be encouraged. On one hand, Paul says, ‘Ye do not need me to write to you about this brotherly love,’ and yet, in the next verse he says, "And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more" (1 Thessalonians 4:10).
So what Paul was saying is that even though you have this natural love for one another and you have been practicing this brotherly love for one another, we beseech you — we urge you, we encourage you — to increase in it, to love more and more. So don't stop at that. Be encouraged to abound, to love even more. If we are saved, we have this natural love for one another, and we also need to grow in this natural love.
Paul was not teaching the Thessalonians to get something they did not already have. He was encouraging them to get more of what they already had. The Thessalonians already had this love. They were giving sacrificially, cheerfully, and willingly to the brethren in Macedonia. But Paul encouraged them: ‘Let your love abound more and more.’ And did they increase in that love? Yes, they did!
If you can, turn with me to 2 Thessalonians 1:3. The Apostle Paul wrote: "We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren" — referring to the Thessalonians — "as it is meet" (which means it is necessary). Why is he bound to thank God? And why is it necessary? "Because … your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth." They had grown in their love for one another.
Dear friend, maybe you may say, ‘I have love enough. I have love to the limit.’ Interestingly, the phrase “brotherly love” (or phileo love) is followed by the phrase "ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another". Now, that is a different word for “love” — that is agape love. In other words, ‘concerning this matter of brotherly love, ye yourselves have been taught of God — not just the natural love for one another, but the agape love.’
Now, agape love is the purest form of love. It is the love patterned after the love of God. And who is the one who taught us about this love? Who is the one who set the perfect example of this agape love? He is none other than our Lord Jesus Christ, right?
Remember, Jesus taught His disciples in John 15:12: "This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you." And what kind of love was that? "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). We are to love one another as Jesus has loved us. And how much has Jesus loved us? He laid down His life for us.
Have we loved like Jesus did? Most certainly not. There is always room for improvement. You may say, ‘It is so hard!’ Indeed, it can be so hard. But God will not command us to do something that we cannot attain. God will not command us to do something that He will not give us the ability to achieve.
You may say, ‘That person is so unreasonable! That person is so selfish! How can I love him or her?’ Even if you were to love the most awful person on the face of this earth with all your strength and with all your capacity, you still have not loved him or her as much as Jesus has loved you. No matter how much you have forgiven anyone, you will never be able to forgive as much as Jesus has forgiven you.
Husbands and wives, do you love one another? Do you find it difficult? Parents and children, do you find it difficult to love one another? Leaders and congregation, do you find it difficult to love one another? Whatever relationship issues we have, whatever struggles we have lately, whatever conflicts, whatever misunderstandings — let us be honest with ourselves. Let us ask ourselves this question: ‘How would things have changed if, right now, we were to expect nothing from the other person but to love him or her the way Jesus loved us?’
Let us pause and reflect on the love that God has shown us through Jesus Christ. Jesus came for us. He lived a perfect life on this earth. He struggled. He was mocked, scorned. He was rejected, despised by men. He was crucified on the cross of Calvary. He shed His precious blood — all because of us. And He commands us: "love one another; as I have loved you" (John 13:34).
And what was our condition when Jesus loved us? We were not good. We were not perfect. We were not spiritually mature. We were enemies of God. Can you imagine? Jesus loved us while we were yet enemies of God! We were unworthy, undeserving of the Almighty God. Yet He met us in an absolutely unworthy condition, and there He loved us. He found someone who was, by nature, deserving of the wrath of God. But instead of giving us what we deserved from God, He gave us all the spiritual blessings that are found in Himself. He forgave our sins. He set us free. He changed our nature. He took us unto Himself and He continuously loved us for all eternity. And even when you and I sin against Him, He remains faithful to us because He cannot deny Himself (2 Timothy 2:13). That was how much our Lord Jesus loved us. And we are commanded to love one another as He has loved us.
So when we think about how our Lord Jesus loved us, it will truly transform the way we love one another — whether it be husbands and wives, parents and children, leaders and congregation members toward other members, etc.
How does God cause our love for one another to increase more and more? By putting us into circumstances and situations, and then opening windows of opportunities for us to practice brotherly love. You see, we will always have our differences. But the difficulties that we have between ourselves are actually opportunities for us to grow in our love. As the saying goes, ‘No trials, no growth.’
The needs that other believers have are actually opportunities for us to abound in our brotherly love. That is why God places us in a local church like this — Bethel BP Church — where people are so different, with different needs: physical needs, emotional needs, financial needs, and relationship issue needs. You may have all the money in this world, but there must first be that person who has the need for you to have the opportunity to give. And the Almighty God opens this window of opportunity for us to give and abound in our love. And the church is the place where all of us can exercise this brotherly love — not in the world, but in the church.
So, there is no such thing as having too much Christian love. You can never have too much Christian love. No one will ever complain, ‘There's too much love in that church! I feel so uncomfortable! I don't want to go there!’ Whenever there is love in the church, people want to go there. In fact, the opposite is true. Where there is no love, people will leave the church. Now, that may not be the right thing to do, but that is a fact. You don’t leave the church because there is no love. If there is no love, then it must begin with you. You start loving others. You set the example that the Lord Jesus has commanded you. But nonetheless, it is a reality — when people feel that there is no love, they leave.
Dear friend, I believe all of us, as believers, love our Almighty God. We want to live our lives to please Him. And to please Him is to obey His command, and that is to love one another as Jesus has loved us. And let us learn that every circumstance, situation, and event of life is not by chance nor coincidence. We take them as windows of opportunity for God to grow our brotherly love. And let that begin with us. And let that love abound more and more.
III. It Is A Love That Is Actively Demonstrated
Our third point is that it is a love to be actively demonstrated. Now, love is active. It is not just an emotion or a feeling. We are not only to love in words but in deeds as well.
Look at 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, "And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing." The word “them” tells us that these are the people who are outside the kingdom of God. And the word “and” tells us that we are still in the same line of thought regarding brotherly love.
So, what do verses 11 and 12 have to do with brotherly love? When you love your brothers and sisters in Christ, you will be sensitive to their needs. Anything that affects them positively, that you will do. Anything that affects them negatively, that you will not do.
The first command is: "ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business". It means to make it your ambition to live a simple, quiet, and humble life. To be quiet — that is what it means. Do not draw attention to yourself.
Some people stir up problems for themselves because they do not know how to speak appropriately. They just want to speak their minds. They just want to say what they think is right. They do not know how to hold back from an issue. They often say, ‘That is my conviction! I want to be bold in what I say!’ But such boldness can also be a sign of foolishness that can create bigger problems.
Be quiet. Be humble. Stop running around trying to be involved in other people's affairs. Before we get involved in other people's affairs, first make sure that we are handling our own affairs. I've known people who are always trying to minister to other people's children, but they barely speak to their own children at home. I've known of women who are always trying to counsel other women, but they have problems in their own marriages. Some people want to know everything about you — everything about your family, about your marriage, about your job, everything that is taking place in your life, everything that is happening in the church.
Now, it is one thing if they are genuinely concerned. But if they are not genuinely concerned, then what are they? Busy bodies. Some people just want to have the information. And once they have the information, what do they do with it? Nothing.
Do you realise that once you have the information, you have a responsibility to respond to the information you have received? If you just want information for information’s sake, then what are you? Busy bodies. If you genuinely care, by all means, pray for the person. Help in the person's needs. Respond in good faith.
The second thing is: "to work with your own hands, as we commanded you". Now, there was a problem in the Thessalonian church, especially with those people who were not working. Since they did not work, they could not earn a living, and that put a strain on the church finances. Other believers would have to help them. But their lack of work did not mean that they just sat and did nothing. Instead, they became busybodies. They meddled in other people's businesses.
The Bible does not tell us why this command was given or why they were not working. Now, there are some possibilities. Some believe that there was a shortage of work in the city. Some believe that the people were lazy and unwilling to work. Some believe that they accepted the Greek culture, which believed that free men should not be engaged in hard labour — work done with the hands — something considered degrading. Those were works to be done by the slaves or servants. Some people believe that at this time, people had this super-spiritual mentality — that they should only be engaged in preaching, teaching, evangelising, Bible studies, and all other kinds of work was a waste of time.
Yet others believed that these people were confused and thought that Jesus would come soon. Of course, we know that our Lord Jesus’ return is imminent, which means it could happen at any time. But these people were so confused that they sold their homes, gave up their jobs, and after they spent all their money, then they turned to the church for help. There are yet others who believed that there were wealthy believers in the church — so why should they work? Just turn to these people who would help them.
We do not know exactly what the problem was. But whatever the problem was, the Apostle Paul commanded them that they should work with their hands. It is God's plan for men to work. He is the One who gave us the strength to work.
2 Thessalonians 3:10b says, "if any would not work, neither should he eat." Now, that was a very strong charge. If you don’t want to work, then don’t expect to eat. 1 Timothy 5:8 says that Christians who do not work and provide for their own family — their own households — have denied the faith and are worse than an infidel, which means worse than the unbelievers. The unbelievers work hard to support their own families. How can you behave worse than the unbelievers?
So, as Christians, we ought to work — and to work hard. We should not depend on others to support us. We should not put ourselves in a situation to add burden to our brothers and sisters in Christ if we are able to do so.
Now some people, obviously, because of some health reasons or being handicapped in some areas of their lives, are not able to find jobs. But we are talking about normal circumstances. God is the one who blesses us with strength and even the jobs and opportunities. We should work hard. If we do not do that, that is not brotherly love.
Oftentimes, we see the same group of people serving in different areas of ministry. But what about the rest of the people? Is it loving to allow only a small group of people in the church to do 100% of the ministry work? Is it loving when people who have been gifted with spiritual gifts just lay around, sit, and watch while the minority are working hard? That is not brotherly love. But it is a sad reality.
Dear friend, the printed DHW notes that we have in the foyer did not drop from heaven. It is through the hard labour of people who wrote those notes, printed them, and formatted them for you. The bulletins, the PA ministry — they did not drop from heaven. People work hard. The same goes with the refreshments, the usher ministry, the flower arrangements, visiting the elderly homes, Home Care Group ministries, church camps, youth camps, and youth retreats.
Think about all the preparation and organisation in all these programs. They did not just drop from heaven. There were people who were working hard behind the scenes. Why do they have to do that — sometimes even at the expense of their own family time? Because of brotherly love.
A word of encouragement to all those who are labouring in love, may the Lord continue to flourish your love, that your love for one another will abound more and more. And a word of exhortation to all those who realise that they have been lacking in this love, may the Lord remind us of this command: "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples" (John 13:35). So, may the Lord shed abroad the love of God in our hearts through the wondrous working of the Holy Spirit, so that we will demonstrate this love actively toward one another — beginning in the church.
Finally, all of us exercise brotherly love so that we may serve the purpose found in 1 Thessalonians 4:12, "That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing." "[Them] that are without" — those are the unbelievers, those outside the kingdom of God.
You and I may not always have the opportunity to share the Christian faith verbally. But we can always demonstrate our love for one another through our actions, through our words, through the way we behave, and through the way we communicate with one another in the Church of Jesus Christ. Let Bethel be a church that will actively demonstrate this brotherly love.
So, we work hard — not only to support ourselves, but also others who are in need. But more importantly, we work hard, and we live honestly. We love one another so that the unbelievers will see through our lives, and peradventure, they may want to know the one true and living God.
In the city of Thessalonica, people would have noticed the transformed lives of the Thessalonians. They would have watched how the Thessalonians loved one another. They knew how poor those believers were, and yet they helped others. Yet, they loved others more than themselves.
Dear friend, do you have this brotherly love? Do you demonstrate this brotherly love? When the unbelievers look at your life, do they see a transformed life in you? Do they see the love of the Lord Jesus Christ, who has saved you and commanded you? "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples" (John 13:35). Have they seen how you have faithfully obeyed this command? May the Lord help us.
If you have forgotten whatever I've said — brotherly love is natural. It is a natural affection that Christians have for other Christians. It is a love that needs to be encouraged to abound more and more. And it is a love that is actively demonstrated. So may the Lord help us, and I pray that Bethel BP Church will be a church known not for fights, quarrels, disagreements, division, and so forth, but will be a church known for brotherly love — to the glory of God. Let us pray.
Father in heaven, we give thee thanks for this opportunity for us to come together to pray and also to learn from thy precious Word. As we learn the importance of brotherly love, we remember our Lord Jesus, who has commanded us: ‘By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples,’ — and how would they know? — ‘that ye have love one to another.’ O Lord, forgive us if there are times we think that we have loved too much or that we have loved to the limit. When we consider our Lord Jesus, who set the ultimate example for us to follow, that no greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. We learn from our perfect Saviour, our Lord Jesus, who loved us so much that He died for us, shedding His precious blood. So today, we want to follow Him — just as the early believers followed Him and obeyed His command. And that was how Christianity spread throughout the ancient Roman world.
We pray that Bethel BP Church will be such a church, that one day we will receive Thy commendation: ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Thou hast obeyed My command. The world has seen how you have love one to another.’ By this, the world knows that we are Your disciples. May the Lord help us. This is a spiritual work that we cannot do — that only the born-again believer will have this natural affection one for another. May the Lord help us. We pray all this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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