Eulogy for Eliana Gan from Patrick Gan
This is our journey with Eliana. It didn’t start or end on 4 October 2022. It started at conception and it continues to today.
It has been a difficult journey for Joyce and I. I vividly remember the day we received the call from the doctor to say Eliana had been diagnosed with Trisomy 13. After getting my head around what Trisomy 13 was, I remember feeling numb and helpless. I wondered how could we go through the struggles of pregnancy, the pain of labour, and the anguish knowing our baby would die at any time.
The doctors mentioned that in our situation, most would choose to terminate the pregnancy. And this choice is legally available here in Australia.
For us however, there was only one choice that would make sense and would give us peace. We prayed together and we read the bible. Psalm 139:14 is a verse that stayed with me throughout the pregnancy. We knew God had fearfully and wonderfully made our baby inside the womb and we determined to let God reveal His plans for her.
My Mum would always say from Romans 8:28, all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. I knew that God had a purpose in choosing Joyce and I specifically to be Eliana’s parents. It was this belief in God’s plan, that gave us the comfort to get by each day.
Eliana surprised the doctors and made it to a full-term pregnancy. We still didn’t know if she would make it through birth alive and if she did, we didn’t know how long she would be alive. At that stage we did have one desire - and that was to meet Eliana alive.
We thank God that at 11.22AM on 4 October, our prayer was answered. We spent one precious hour with her alive with her earthly body, where she was surrounded by her family and love. I will forever cherish that time we had with Eliana as we praised God for her and examined the features that God crafted into her, and as we watched her peaceful breaths of life. God had made her perfectly.
We chose the name Eliana halfway through the pregnancy. In Hebrew, Eliana means God answers prayer. God may not have answered our prayers with the life for Eliana we had hoped for, but we had no doubt that He answered all our prayers according to His plan.
To our church family, we thank you. You have cried with us, encouraged us, cared for us and prayed for us. Even though Eliana’s life on earth was short, she has been a blessing to us and I hope her life can be a blessing to others.
Eulogy for Eliana Gan from Joyce Gan
My dearest Eliana,
I thank God that you were able to visit us here on Earth for a short while. You are so strong and have surprised your parents and the medical team by making it to a full-term pregnancy, even with those extra chromosomes not doing you any favors. Every day and every night from Week 34, I thought that you would want to come out but you stayed in mummy’s tummy – enjoying the freedom and warmth, growing, moving, turning and always kicking me in the ribs. By Week 39, we decided to induce, as it seemed that you were just too comfortable in there.
I thank God that your whole family was able to meet you in the brief time you had here. This has been our prayer and I will forever remember your beautiful eyes opening momentarily, you sucking on your hand, as you did in the womb and your quiet breaths and purrs as you snuggled on mummy. This moment made it all worthwhile – even through the physical pains of pregnancy and labour, the difficulty of telling others that this was not a normal pregnancy and the anxiety of not knowing when or how long you would be with us. I will treasure those precious few moments in my memory forever.
Through this experience, I have learnt that life is so precious and fragile – it can be taken away in seconds but I am comforted to know that God is in control of all things and that He will never let us go through more trials than we can handle. Every day, I constantly reminded myself of this passage in 1Cor 10:13:
“..God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
I also thank God for all those who have helped us along the way – the medical and support team at Box Hill Hospital, Very Special Kids and the Victorian Paediatric Palliative Care Program, our friends and family who brought us food, prayed for us and comforted us. Thank you – we would not have made it through without your care and your hugs.
Eliana – you will always be one third of our trifecta of girls and you will always be the little sister (or ‘mei mei’) to Eva and Asha. We will always be a family of five and we will love and miss you forever. We are so glad that you came to visit us and we will meet again on that “beautiful shore” in heaven.
Love always, from your mummy.