1 Corinthians 7:10-11
Ps Paul Cheng
~4 min read
Dear Bethelites,
An article on divorce and remarriage is bound to stir up emotions, sad memories, bitterness or even fears. Some of us have lived through a divorce, or our parents and children have gone through a divorce, others may be contemplating a divorce. Whenever we consider the issue of divorce or marriage breakup, there is always guilt, sorrow and conflict associated with it.
There are some people in the church who want to accommodate everyone and they would say, “Let us try to understand, let us be loving; it is alright to divorce because God will forgive them anyway regardless of what they do.” There are others who will object and say, “No divorce, no remarriage, for anyone, and for any reason.” Some ministers will even shy away and say that it is a controversial topic. We need to hear what the Bible has to say about divorce and remarriage.
In the previous verses, the Apostle Paul had dealt with questions concerning singleness and marriage, and here he moved on to answer questions about divorce and remarriage. We do not know exactly what were the questions that the Corinthians were asking, and based on the passage, we can only assume what those questions were. So, let us approach this passage somewhat differently, by assuming what those questions were, based on the answers that Paul gave.
The first question: If I am a believer married to another believer, can I divorce?
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
Here, Paul was talking about two believers who were married, and they must not divorce. The little phrase yet not I, but the Lord means this command did not come from Paul himself but the Lord Jesus Himself (c.f. Matthew 19:3-9).
The word depart means divorce, and not separation or to leave one’s spouse for a period of time, because verse 11 clearly stated that if she departs, let her remain unmarried. This command was not only given to the wife, but to the husband as well, and let not the husband put away his wife.
Christians must not divorce. But what if he or she does divorce? The phrase but and if she depart does not mean Paul was allowing divorce, he was simply acknowledging the fact that there were some believers who might have already divorced their spouses. In such situations, where divorce had already taken place, he or she must remain unmarried.
If someone were to ask the minister, “Pastor, can we get divorced?” The pastor’s response would be, “Please don’t do that!” And the couple replied, “But too late! We already did!” So, what should the pastor say to the couple? Based on 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, he would say, “You have two options. You can continue to be unmarried, or you can be reconciled to each other!”
The second question: Are there any exceptions to this command not to divorce?
Since the Apostle Paul says in verse 10 that this command not to divorce was given by the Lord, let us hear from Jesus, and what He has to say. Did Jesus give any exception to this command?
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
The term fornication is a general word which means immorality or any kind of sexual unfaithfulness, and fornication within marriage is known as adultery. When adultery is committed within marriage, then divorce is permissible. It is not commanded but permissible.
In the Old Testament, when the people committed adultery, they would be stoned to death. The death would break the marriage bond, and the innocent spouse would be free. But God was gracious in that He did not always execute the death penalty like in the case of David, Solomon and many others who were spared. God, in His mercy, spared the life and divorce was permitted but only because there was hardness of heart.
But that does not mean that one has to divorce the spouse if unfaithfulness has occurred. It is not a command. In fact, one ought to forgive and to seek reconciliation. The best example is illustrated in God’s relationship with the nation of Israel. It was constantly pictured as a husband and wife relationship. Israel was repeatedly unfaithful to God, and He repeatedly said that it would be His prerogative to divorce her, to cut her away and have nothing to do with her. But God repeatedly forgave her! This was also illustrated in the book of Hosea. Hosea married Gomer who was a prostitute, and she became unfaithful. Hosea was told to go to Gomer, not to divorce her but restore her.
Whenever someone commits adultery, we must be willing to forgive and pray for repentance. One may ask, “How can I forgive someone who has betrayed the purity and sacredness of marriage.” Indeed, it is very painful and difficult. But the Bible says, And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32). If Christ has forgiven all my sins, who are we not to forgive our spouses?
Does it mean that the moment your spouse commits adultery, one is free to marry, since Jesus said, except it be for fornication? Let us be reminded that all scripture is given by inspiration of God; Paul began by saying “This is what the Lord, not I,” and then he went on to speak on what Jesus did not elaborate, But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband. In other words, one should not divorce, and if divorce has occurred, then you remain unmarried and pray for reconciliation.
But what happens if the one who has committed adultery has already remarried? Then the hope of reconciliation is broken! One cannot remarry his or her former spouse under such a situation (that would make him or her an adulterer), and it is an abomination to the Lord. So, what about the so-called innocent party since reconciliation is no longer possible? Can he or she remarry? The Bible is silent! However, the Westminster Confession of Faith permits and says, “In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce: and, after the divorce, to marry another, as if the offending party were dead (24:5).”
With love in Christ,
Pastor Paul Cheng
(To be continued in the next pastoral chat)
1 CORINTHIANS 7Singleness Or Marriage (Part 1)Singleness Or Marriage (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-7
Singleness Or Marriage (Part 2)Singleness Or Marriage (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:2-5
Divorce and Remarriage (Part 1)Divorce and Remarriage (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:10-11
Divorce and Remarriage (Part 2)Divorce and Remarriage (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:12-16, 39
Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 1)Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:17-19, 21-23
Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 2)Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:20, 24
Should I Remain Single (Part 1)Should I Remain Single (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:25-28
Should I Remain Single (Part 2)Should I Remain Single (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:29-31
An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 2)An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:36-40
An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 1)An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:36-40