1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-7
Ps Paul Cheng
~6 min read
Dear Bethelites,
Up to this point, the Apostle Paul has been dealing with the sins reported to be known in the Corinthian church. In the previous chapter, Paul had to deal with all those sins; divisions, immorality, bringing brethren to court, no church discipline, and so forth.
From here onward, Paul would be answering a series of questions that the Corinthians had asked him. That was why one can see the repetition of the phrase, now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me (c.f. 1 Corinthians 7:1a, 25; 12:1; 16:1). In other words, Paul was saying, “You have been asking me questions, and concerning those things (about singleness and marriage, food offered to idols, head covering in worship, the Lord’s Supper, spiritual gifts, and the resurrection), I am going to address them.”
Dear friend, the church is the place where people come to find answers to their questions. The answers are found in the Bible! But there are people who just want the answers for head knowledge sake. The important thing is that one has to be obedient and submissive to the will of God in the given answers.
In this passage, Paul would be answering the questions about singleness and marriage. Should one remain single or get married? Is it better to be single or married?
It is good to be single
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. (1 Corinthians 7:1)
Most certainly, Paul was not referring to a hand shake, or touching as in holding hands. The phrase, it is good for a man not to touch a woman, was a reference to a sexual relationship. And surely, he was not referring to a sexual relationship within marriage because that was a good thing; marriage is a blessed union, and it includes a sexual union ordained by God to procreate.
Here, Paul was speaking about having a sexual relationship with a woman while in a single state. If a single person is practising abstinence, and sexual purity, that is good. And in this sense, it is good to be single.
Very seldom would people acknowledge that being single is a good thing? People tend to follow the mentality of the world when it comes to this matter of singleness. They feel pressured to be single, and the pressure may come in very subtle ways. For example, when one attends family functions and the relatives would ask, “When are you getting married?” Their question presumed that one must get married; it is not a matter of whether one will or will not get married, but rather when he or she will get married. Personally, I know of some unmarried people who do not want to attend family gatherings or visit their relatives during Chinese New Year celebrations or wedding dinners because they want to avoid all these questions about getting married.
The following are some of the misconceptions about singleness;
- Singleness is a curse – People tend to treat singleness almost as if it is like a curse; it is a blessing to be married, and it is a curse to be single. As a result, some had rushed into marriage because they felt that the “singlehood” clock was clicking, “Well, I am forty years old and I am still single. Life is passing me by, so when someone comes along, I wouldn’t care whether or not it is God’s will. As long as someone comes along, that must be the one.”
- Singleness is loneliness – People tend to associate singleness with loneliness. Their mindset is, “Oh, it is so sad that she is single. She must be lonely since she does not have a family.” But that is not true because she has parents, siblings, nephews and nieces, and ultimately she has the church family. Others tend to feel that being single, they do not fit into some of the church’s fellowship groups, “Oh, I do not fit into the adult fellowship group or the home care group because the people there are all married, and they have children, while I am single.” But that is not true because they can attend any fellowship groups and be a blessing to the people. This idea that singleness is associated with loneliness is wrong because some of the married people are the loneliest people on the face of this earth. The truth of the matter is that if it is not the Lord’s will, the marriage will not be a good thing but a curse!
Dear friend, do you feel strange or weird about being single? Do you feel that something is missing in your life just because you are single? Is this pressure that you are feeling coming from the “outside,” (people) or “inside” (within you)? Ask yourself this question, “If it is coming from the “outside,” why do I need to subject myself to what the people think, and why do I need to conform myself to the mindset of the world? If it is coming from the “inside,” what is the basis of this pressure? Is this a physical, emotional or spiritual struggle? Did I speak to the Lord and seek His will, and am I willing to submit to the Lord’s will to remain single?
In Genesis 2:18, God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. That is generally true for most people, to get married, but some have been called to a life of singleness for one reason or another. Their singleness does not mean they are less or more spiritual. Both singleness and marriage are subjected to the will of God.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. (1 Corinthians 7:6)
In other words, Paul was saying, “I speak this by common knowledge or common understanding, through my own life’s experience, and not by commandment. Verse 7, For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. In one sense, Paul wished that all believers could be unmarried, just like himself. As a single person, he had the great freedom and independence to serve Christ.
Indeed, being single has many practical advantages, for it allows much greater freedom in where and how a person can serve the Lord. He is free to move around and set his own time and programs. He does not need to worry about his spouse or his children.
One of the most difficult areas of ministries is to be a missionary or an evangelist. Take a moment and consider this; if God has called one to be an evangelist and he is married with children. The evangelist is a person who moves from city to city, focusing on the gospel of salvation. When souls are saved, the new believers would be directed to the local church and the evangelist would move on to another place or another city. The greatest difficulty that the evangelist would face is that no place is home and at the same time everywhere is home. Oftentimes, he would have to take his family along; where to send his children for school, where to receive medical support, how to adjust to the living environment, and so forth. One can imagine the amount of difficulties he would have to face. But if God has called one to be an evangelist, then that would be his calling, and He will give him the grace, strength and ability to perform his duties faithfully. Not all evangelists are singles, but some of them are blessed with the proper gift of God to remain single, so that they may serve as an evangelist without hindrances.
The Apostle Paul did not expect all believers to be unmarried, for every man had his proper gift of God, whether it was a life of celibacy or a married life. One has to discover God’s proper gift for him. If it is God’s gift for you to remain single, accept it without envying or disparaging what He has given you. Praise God for that blessed gift, and He will give you the grace to remain single.
Last but not least, to remain single does not mean one is free to travel around the world, enjoy and indulge in worldly pleasures, and be free from the burdens of being tight-down with children and other chores. God wants us to use this gift of celibacy to serve and glorify Him. If it is a proper gift, then it must be used relevantly and reverentially. In the same way, someone who has been blessed with the gift to preach, teach and sing, and does nothing about it. He or she would be guilty of not exercising the given gift!
With love in Christ,
Pastor Paul Cheng
1 CORINTHIANS 7Singleness Or Marriage (Part 1)Singleness Or Marriage (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-7
Singleness Or Marriage (Part 2)Singleness Or Marriage (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:2-5
Divorce and Remarriage (Part 1)Divorce and Remarriage (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:10-11
Divorce and Remarriage (Part 2)Divorce and Remarriage (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:12-16, 39
Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 1)Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:17-19, 21-23
Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 2)Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:20, 24
Should I Remain Single (Part 1)Should I Remain Single (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:25-28
Should I Remain Single (Part 2)Should I Remain Single (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:29-31
An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 2)An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:36-40
An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 1)An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:36-40