1 Corinthians 7:12-16, 39
Ps Paul Cheng
~5 min read
Dear Bethelites,
As we consider the topic of divorce and remarriage based on 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, we had focused on the first two questions in our last pastoral chat; (1) If I am a believer married to another believer, can I divorce? (2) Are there any exceptions to this command not to divorce? Today, we will move on to contemplate the third and fourth questions.
The third question: Is divorce allowed to take place between a believer and an unbeliever?
Supposing two unbelievers got married and one of them came to believe the Lord, while the other remained an unbeliever. In such a situation, is divorce allowed to take place?
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. (1 Corinthians 7:12-13)
To the rest refers to the rest of the other marriages, those mixed-marriages, between a believer and an unbeliever. It does not mean the Bible allows unequally yoked marriages (verse 39 stressed that one must always marry in the Lord). Here the possible scenario is that two unbelievers got married and one of them came to know the Lord, or one believer went against God’s commandment and got married to an unbeliever. In such situations, one does not divorce that unbeliever, as long as he or she is willing to stay.
Some Christian husband and wife may say, “I have evangelised to my unbelieving spouse on multiple occasions, but he or she is so stubborn and will not believe. I am going to divorce him or her.” Please do not do that!
Paul gave the reason, For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy (v.14). The words sanctified and holy come from the same original Greek root word hagios which means to be set apart.
How can the unbelieving husband or wife be set apart by the believing spouse? It does not mean set apart for salvation because no one has the power to sanctify or give salvation to anyone. Only God!
But if there is a believer in a home; that home is different because it has a gospel presence. That unbelieving husband has a wife who is indwelt by the Holy Spirit, who is reading the Bible, praying, serving the Lord faithfully, producing the fruit of the Spirit, and living a transformed life, which is something he cannot argue with. Do you realize that if you have an unbelieving spouse, he or she could argue against the doctrines and teachings of the Bible, and oftentimes come up with all kinds of silly arguments. But there is something he or she would have great difficulties arguing against, and that is, the testimony of your genuine transformed life. Can you imagine the unbeliever coming in close contact with such a believer on a daily basis? It is in this sense that the unbelieving spouse is sanctified or set apart by the believing spouse.
It is not uncommon to hear of unbelievers coming to faith in Christ, through the testimonies of their believing spouse. Our testimonies cannot save, but they can certainly draw people to the Lord Jesus Christ. As 1 Peter 3:1 attested, Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.
The fourth question; What if the unbelieving spouse wants to divorce?
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (1 Corinthians 7:15)
If the unbelieving spouse is not willing to stay in the marriage, and let us say, he said, “I have enough. It is always the Bible, and it is always Christ, and it is always Jesus says this and that. I am going to leave you.” Let him depart or divorce; it is in the imperative, or a command.
It is important that this command be given because there may be some who are considering, “Well, maybe I should stop reading the Bible, or praying, or attending church, since all these activities are annoying to him.” Do not do that! It is a command, let him depart, because you are to love the Lord thy God with all your heart, soul and strength, more than anything or anyone. You should do everything you can to make the marriage work, but never at the expense of Christ and His truth. In such a situation, the brother or sister is not bound by the bond of marriage, though the marriage may be broken, but he or she is at peace with the Lord. This is what is commonly known as desertion, when the unbelieving spouse walks away from the marriage and deserts the believer because of Christ.
Some people may be thinking, “But what if I do all I can, to save such a marriage, even at the expense of Christ and His truth, perhaps some years later, he might come to believe in Him one day? Isn’t that better?” Well, Paul went on to say, For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? (verse 16). In other words, he was like saying, “can you assume that by doing all you can that you can save your husband or wife? Most certainly not.” Salvation belongs to the Lord, and it is better that we humble ourselves and obey the Lord’s command, rather than use our own human wisdom and dishonour Him.
Then the question may arise, “Can the Christian remarry in this case (in the situation of desertion)?” Again, the Bible is silent! A lot of wisdom is needed in this case because what if after divorce, the unbelieving husband gets converted and wants to return (assuming he did not remarry)? If the Christian wife gets remarried, the opportunity to return to the original spouse is forfeited. It is God’s intent that the original spouses be reconciled and remained together.
Dear friend, there will always be differences and issues in our marriage. In marriage, we are not marrying a perfect person, but a sinner just like us, who needs love, understanding, care and forgiveness.
Someone once said, “When two elephants fight, which one of the elephants would suffer the most? The husband will cry out, “I am the one who suffers the most.” The wife will cry out, “No, I am the one who has been tormented all these years.” But the truth is that when two elephants fight, the grass suffers the most. Indeed, the children of divorced parents were the ones facing the greatest impact.
A failed marriage often brings guilt and pain. For those who have gone through a divorce, and if you feel that you have sinned, and things cannot be undone, and you are truly sorry, and you ask, “Can God forgive me?” The answer is, “Yes, He can, and He will.” 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
With love in Christ,
Pastor Paul Cheng
1 CORINTHIANS 7Singleness Or Marriage (Part 1)Singleness Or Marriage (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-7
Singleness Or Marriage (Part 2)Singleness Or Marriage (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:2-5
Divorce and Remarriage (Part 1)Divorce and Remarriage (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:10-11
Divorce and Remarriage (Part 2)Divorce and Remarriage (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:12-16, 39
Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 1)Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:17-19, 21-23
Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 2)Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:20, 24
Should I Remain Single (Part 1)Should I Remain Single (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:25-28
Should I Remain Single (Part 2)Should I Remain Single (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:29-31
An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 2)An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:36-40
An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 1)An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:36-40